ZThemes

on that meandering, baffling note, I sweep

Come with a Whole Heart or Not at All } Tagged: Anita

amos-tow:

"That’s two of us, so," said Amos, sitting upright and arranging his expression into one of calmness.  The window caught his eye, and he made a motion as though he might get up, but really he only needed sight of the trees to reassure himself.  Escape was there if he needed it.

"Some five centuries ago, th’ good neighbors stole me.  Ne’er knew my parents nor where I came from, save it weren’t Elsewhere.  Y’ ken, e’ery moment, ye ain’t from anywhere."  The changeling man massaged a shiny scar on the back of his hand with his opposite thumb.  "I’ve lived ‘neath th’ hills all my life, save a stretch o’ decades here an’ there.  Learned th’ languages, learned t’ serve, learned not t’ hope for much.  It don’t stop once you’re grown.  Just gets worse, ‘cause y’ain’t sweet t’ see an’ small, so y’learn t’ be amusin’ or so borin’ they let y’ be, or y’die."

"An’ it’s stupid.  Five centuries, an’ I can’t let this go.  ’S likely ‘cause they make sure ye ken ye don’t belong anywhere.  But ‘s more’n five hundred years, Anita, an’ they can still hurt me wit’ a life I only lived for a few weeks at most an’ don’t e’en remember.  ’Stead, they’re in my mind all th’ time, ‘round e’ery corner.  They get int’ a person’s soul, int’ your head.  Th’ places Elsewhere an’ th’ good folk an’ th’ food, th’ drink, an’ there ain’t anythin’ I do, nor think, nor say that ain’t got me half thinkin’ of ‘em."

With this disjointed ramble, Amos had hoped to paint an explanation for Anita.  The handful of puzzle pieces he offered provided more of a rough outline, but one thing was apparent: the dangerous undercurrent of anger, hate, and longing in every word.

Mossy’s expression was somewhere very distant and lonely as he spoke, a kind of furious animalistic hunger gnawing at the edges of his features, as if he was holding back something harsh and biting. Like someone attempting to make a bad taste seem palatable, he was wrestling quite clearly to not to show the true spectrum of his feelings, but enough seeped into his tone and truly embittered words to make Anita’s heart shiver in pity. She didn’t blame him for having run straight for what he’d craved: she’d have done the same. The feeling was terribly understandable, after all. Some things a creature came up against were too vast, too wide and towering in the landscape of the mind for anything to be done about them. Things that would drive a person mad if they considered them too long. Of course he had tried to bludgeon the thoughts away, choking them before they might take root. But they both knew that only worked for too long, and in the end you were left with the same pain from before, incomprehensible and bewildering and so, so vast. It was a very isolating sensation, the feeling of being singularly pained in a way that was indescribable, in a way that couldn’t be communicated except for with choked silences and burning throats.

She’d never had dealings with many fair folk, and that was something Anita could only consider herself very, very lucky for. Fey were alarming and dangerous and wild, and to have them in total control of your life… Poor Mossy was a clear cautionary tale of what happened when caution wasn’t enough. “Mossy…” she said, voice filled with unspoken sympathy. She gently adjusted her position on the blanket and carefully placed a hand on his upper arm to offer what hopefully would translate to a comforting touch. “I- wish there was something I could say, or do… I could tell you you belong here, with Ceana and Jackie and Carmen and me but. I don’t think you’d really believe that. And no matter how much we all love you, I know you can’t replace your real family, nothing can…” she winced and shook her head, putting a hand to it and slowly raking through her hair. “I’m so sorry Mossy, that’s.. that’s sickening, I can’t- I can’t imagine how much it must take to live with that. I… I know why you did what you did. I want you to know I’m not cross, I’m just concerned. I know how it feels to depend on something like that to numb all the pain-” she paused and took a shaky breath, “But you can talk about it, if you can, to me, or Carmen… We want you to get better. I… I for one don’t blame you in the slightest. I’d rather you didn’t but…” her expression sagged into one of utter exhaustion and she shook her head. “I just understand, to an extent. I know the feeling of… Of not being able to cope. So just… we can not cope together. Please don’t feel like you’re alone.” She pulled an unsteady smile together for Mossy: “I know we can’t…  can’t help what’s going on for you but.. we can let you talk about it.”

I think my mum’s drunk texting me???? okay.

this response is getting really cheesy and really tangential… yeesh.

tybalt-tow:

anita-radcliffe-tow:

of all the guardians for a hobbit a dragon is the most ironic, which is something I didn’t consider until just now…

image

IT’S EVEN FUNNIER BECAUSE

those two were the only good thing about that series of who.

my heart gOD I CAN’T I CANNOT??? THEY WERE?? SO FRIGGIN CUTE?? Vastra was all protective all the time waAaaahhhh I shouldn’t have got started on the subject imma tears.

of all the guardians for a hobbit a dragon is the most ironic, which is something I didn’t consider until just now…

someone needs to bring Jenny’s la in pronto

LOOK AT THE CUTE. LOOK AT ITiamcalm.

[10:56:23 PM] Angeled Eyes: Eitan: -catches Alice in his arms- “Oh. I didn’t know the Isle rained angels.”

You’ve literally been here ten minutes and a half-dragon half-witch is already giving you the mother of all stinkeyes congrats bud

(via anita-radcliffe-tow)

But look at how cute he is.

(via padraic-tow)

[10:56:23 PM] Angeled Eyes: Eitan: -catches Alice in his arms- “Oh. I didn’t know the Isle rained angels.”

You’ve literally been here ten minutes and a half-dragon half-witch is already giving you the mother of all stinkeyes congrats bud

hmh.. I’m gonna take a shower then maybe grab some food, then I’m gonna reply to rps.

amos-tow replied to your post: fernando-tow replied to your post:Hey…

Hnnnng? Hmnmmhg? *expires*

Eris: ….. Hmh.

Jasmine approves.

yaaaaaaaaaas frands though. or friendly rivals perhaps.

oh right she’s gonna be an ifrit i don’t think I mentioned that that’s why I prefer Janina

not to my knowledggge. But I say go with Deepika. She’s so much more expressive.

thanks for the input but oh noo because I’d almost completely come down on the Janina side… Deepkia has a lot of fun gifs but Janina has some that are a bit more sort of for want of a better word mystical.. you know?